The unexpected ways being a mother shaped my career

In the early years of my career, I purposely delayed starting a family because I feared it would hold me back professionally.

I became fixated on growing my career as quickly as possible, believing that early success in my work would give me the stability my family and I desired.

This obsession led to unnecessary stress and by the time I was ready to become a mother, it was almost too late I had to turn to artificial methods to conceive.

For a long time, I blamed my career for delaying motherhood, thinking perhaps I wasn’t meant to be a mother at all. However, time proved me wrong.

Being a mother made me feel confident

With the help of science and the support of my loved ones, we were blessed with a beautiful daughter, Carmen.

The moment she entered my life, I received the greatest promotion, one I had never dreamed of. All my insecurities and the pressure to rush my career melted away.

To my surprise, motherhood gave me a new sense of confidence and perspective. It shifted my approach to work with a sense of balance and focused purpose.

‘The most efficient and effective individuals’

Returning to full time work after two months of maternity leave was challenging. I had to quickly adjust and find new ways to balance my career and family life.

A female peer told me then, “First-time mothers are the most efficient and effective individuals you could have in your team”.

I believe this is because we’re more aware of the importance of timing and scheduling – one missed nap or feeding can completely destroy the wellbeing of your kid.

Motherhood taught me new skills

The new skills I developed as a mother—prioritising, scheduling, and managing time—helped me navigate this new start at work.

By adopting a more structured approach and focusing on small progressive steps, I regained my momentum.

Setting boundaries

But I also experienced many moments of insecurity and guilt, wondering if I was doing enough.

What helped me was setting physical and, more importantly, mental boundaries. I may only have two hours a day with my daughter, but I’m intentional about giving my full 200% during that time.

Similarly, if I have one hour to finish a task, I ensure that I eliminate distractions to complete it effectively.

Leadership

Motherhood also taught me the value of leadership. I became more mindful of how my actions and reactions impact not only my daughter but also my team.

Both roles carry significant responsibility and require effective communication, boundaries, and clear expectations.

Learning from mistakes

I realised how creating a positive and safe environment fosters personal and professional development.

Just as I allow my daughter to experience small falls and help her get back up again, I learned how to hold my team accountable and embrace mistakes without creating a culture of fear.

Happiness

But the most valuable lesson is that I learned to live happiness through the smiles and dreams of others.

That is what being a parent, and a leader, is all about.

How preparing to be a mother the second time was different

There’s been a significant shift from when I came back from maternity leave the first time to how I approached the second round of IVF and pregnancy.

The first time, I was given more space than I needed, which led to some of my responsibilities being reassigned. I felt that I might not be able to fully regain my professional self, which was disheartening, especially during a time when many women are most vulnerable.

It was with the guidance of a supportive female peer that I decided to advocate for myself and reclaim my previous role and responsibilities.

With time, I was able to restore my team, my responsibilities, and, most importantly, my confidence and sense of empowerment.

Deciding to go for Fellowship

As I gained more stability as a mother and leader, my ambitions became clearer: I wanted to become an ICE Fellow.

I failed the first time I applied and almost gave up. I even wondered if it was time to put my goals on hold and focus entirely on family.

When I decided to try again, I was undergoing another round of IVF, hopeful to achieve Fellowship before my second maternity promotion.

The path was tough, especially with a one-year-old daughter and a second baby on the way. But I managed to push through with the invaluable support of my husband, Pedro, whose belief in me is a constant source of strength in my career.

My family focused on me and gave me the space and time to prepare. I didn’t hesitate to embrace that help and gave it my all.

Encouraging everyone to believe in women’s potential

Through this experience, I learned that when we talk about striving for more equity and gender balance, it's not just about bringing in more women, but enabling us to thrive in our roles.

Support isn’t about giving us less responsibility to focus on being mothers. It’s about empowerment and being there to hear what we may need.

It’s our responsibility to speak up and help each other so that we continue to grow professionally and personally.

Today, as I write this at 38 weeks pregnant, I have received an internal promotion at work and... Fellowship!

Since I joined Jacobs, I’ve had the support of a company that continuously strives to improve and fight for the inclusion of women in engineering.

This has empowered me to go further than I ever imagined.